My first experiences using food to show love and care for someone were way before I was tall enough to reach the counters of my home kitchen.

Although I grew up in a busy household full of women (mom, godmother, aunt, domestic worker plus me and my sister!), my dad was someone that we didn’t see a lot, even though he lived with us. For as long as I can remember, he always had two jobs during the week, and would pick up some extra work on Saturdays to help boost the family budget. Usually he left the house before we were up for school and only returned when we were already in bed. 

But on Sunday mornings he would sleep in late and everyone tiptoed around the house so we wouldn’t disturb him. Well, everyone but me! I had a special elder daughter's job to do! I’m not going to lie, my dad always had a soft spot for me, I was introverted and bookish like him… and always eager to please. My special job was to bring him a breakfast tray in bed, every Sunday! I can still remember his sleepy but happy eyes when I would wake him with a “Bom dia!” (Good morning in Portuguese), beaming a big smile and heavy tray at hand. 

That Sunday ritual taught me the importance and pleasure of “serving for love”. That simple exchange was perhaps the seed that started my love for cooking. No, I had not squeezed the oranges nor sliced the cheese, but I was the recipient of his gratitude for them, and that understanding was more valuable than the freshness of the coffee or the crunchiness of bread bread. 

Cooking is an act of service. An exchange of our time and effort for the nurturing of the other, or our own. A gift of sorts that usually elicits pleasure and connection when done from the heart. Teaching our kids to cook is a way to create an opportunity for them to experience that exchange from the giving end. For them to learn the beauty of being of service to others. 

Those Sunday breakfast memories are from before I learned to cook, like 5 or 6 years old, but they definitely influenced my early adventures in cooking by the time I turned 8 or 9. Today I cook for others to show my gratitude and honor of having them in my life. It doesn’t have to be complicated or every day, but just an occasional opportunity to use service and a language of love!